In October 0f 2011 got a call on my cell phone. It was an unknown number so I let it ring. You have no idea how many times I jumped at the phone for unknown numbers, only to find it was nothing adoption related. I listened to the voicemail and it was our adoption agency calling about an expectant mother who wanted to contact us. I immediately called S and when he didn't answer I called again, and again. Until he finally answered to tell me he was on the other line with our agency. Waiting for him to call me back with details was one of the longest ten minutes in my life. I was freaking out!
We got the details and were told the expectant mother, K, would be contacting us via email in the next day or so...and she did. We received a brief, very well written email from K explaining her situation and why she was looking in to open adoption. We wrote back and forth a few times and communication between us all was flowing surprisingly easy. A few days later we got a phone call from K, and we were so nervous...until we picked up the phone. Her outgoing and exuberant personality came right through the phone and we felt very at ease. I don't quite know how we knew, but my husband and I both had a gut feeling that this would be the birth mother of our child.
We asked K what attracted her to our profile and she said she just had a good feeling when she saw it. She looked through several other profiles but kept coming back to us, and feeling really good every time she saw our picture. Turns out we all have a lot in common and it became easy to see why we were connecting. Funny side note: my husband and I both have several tattoos. In the beginning we had asked the agency if we should cover them up on our profile. They said no (and we agreed) because we wanted to be genuine and we wanted an expectant mother to choose us for exactly who we are. More than a few times my dad (not a tattoo fan) had mentioned we might want to cover them up. K says she loved our tattoos and it was part of what attracted her to us. I enjoy reminding my dad of that from time to time!
We spent the next two weeks getting to know K and decided we should meet in person. K and her mom came down here early November. I will never forget seeing them for the first time. When S & I walked in to the hotel lobby we were greeted with big, warm hugs from K and her mom. They were both smiling, as were we. It felt unbelievably comfortable. We went to lunch and the conversation flowed, about life, a bit about adoption. K was very confident and outspoken, flattering S and I to no end.
Then she asked, "Have you picked out a name for the baby"?
This blew my mind for a few reasons. First off...wow...this could be real. K really is considering an open adoption with us. I did not expect such a candid openness. Second, We did have a name picked out and it meant a lot to us that she liked it. Third, it scared me a bit. What if we are putting it all out there and this doesn't work? What if this is what K thinks she wants but changes her mind? We told her the name, (porkchop), and she and her mom absolutely loved it. The rest of the trip K referred to the sweet baby in her belly as Porkchop. I was speechless at how easy this all felt. Nothing about this felt weird. We spent the next few days together. I had toyed with the idea of letting K and her mom meet some of our family. I decided to see how the trip was going and play it by ear. We ended up spending a beautiful afternoon with my brother, sister-in-law and niece in San Francisco. It could not have been more natural. Everything about this situation felt right. When I mentioned this, K's mom said, "Well, when it's right...it's just right."
Before they left to head home we had our Match Meeting with a counselor at our adoption agency. Being matched means that K has chosen us (for now, hopefully for good) and S and I are no longer available to be contacted by other expectant mothers. This was a scary and exciting step forward towards us becoming parents...
